Breaking the Stigma of Mental Health in the Christian Community written by Sarah Bade, M.S., LPC, Ph.D. (in progress)

Let me first acknowledge that not all counseling is created equal. I have had clients share with me words from allegedly Christian counselors that were either tragically unfeeling or decidedly unbiblical. Neither a license nor a Christian affiliation guarantees competence, effectiveness, or biblical integrity. I understand why there may be hesitation around counseling within the Christian community.

At the same time, I believe counseling can be defended biblically and should be pursued when needed.

Where does this stigma originate?

Christians may stigmatize even Christian counseling for a few reasons. Perhaps ignorance—because it’s something we fear and don’t understand. Perhaps pride—because we think that seeking outside help signals weakness. Perhaps insecurity—because we feel threatened by pain that could challenge our theology.

Whatever the case, my hope is that we can explore this issue together. We believe in a God who is good and doeth good (Psalm 119:68) and cannot be shaken. Let us seek, then, with courageous humility, prepared to examine our ways and return unto the Lord where needed (Lamentations 3:40).

1. Normalize needing help.

Many seem to think that mental health struggles are for the emotionally weak or spiritually immature. However, even Charles Spurgeon, the “Prince of Preachers,” experienced deep feelings of depression. And in a moment of hunger, exhaustion, and fear, the prophet Elijah asked God to take his life (1 Kings 19).

We may feel pressure to maintain a certain front or pretend that we’re okay, fearing we might make God, our church, or our family look bad. However, God doesn’t need our social media highlight reel or our pretending. (If our church does, that’s another issue entirely.) We have all made wrong choices. We all have needs, and He is not threatened by them.

2. Recognize the loneliness of the broken.

As seen in the story of Job, suffering often leads to isolation. In Job 19:13–22, he laments:
“My brethren have removed far from me, and mine acquaintance are verily estranged from me... My kinsfolk have failed, and my familiar friends have forgotten me... I called my servant, and he gave me no answer... Yea, young children despised me... All my inward friends abhorred me.”

Programs can be helpful (Acts 6), but people need community, and not a community ready to provide quick fixes. Job’s family and friends didn’t come to eat with him, comfort him, or support him until the forty-second chapter. When I ask counselees about their support system, many reply, “It’s basically you.” My friends, this must not be. Forgetting and pretending are poor remedies for grieving hearts (Job 9:27). Lean in.

3. Prioritize selflessness, kindness, and presence.

As Job’s friends teach us, theology proclaimed with pride and without humility deepens wounds and pushes the sufferer into self-defense instead of drawing them into a compassionate community. Rather than offering what Job called “proverbs of ashes” (Job 13:12), we must generously practice the biblical “one anothers.”

Accept or welcome one another—and not conditionally.
Forgive one another—not only when asked.
Listen to one another—not merely to respond, but to understand.

I am convinced that if Christians more intentionally practiced the “one anothers” of Scripture, many counseling issues would disappear overnight.

Job 6:14 says, “To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend.” It is our sincere hope that pain does not separate others from God, but the answer is not always a sermon or a well-meaning cliché. It's kindness.

Also, let us value simply being. Job declared to his friends that their silence would have been wisdom (Job 13:5). Do we have the courage to humbly step into brokenness, not to instruct, but just to be present? Job told his friends repeatedly, “I have understanding as well as you” (Job 12:3; 13:2). What he needed was not their explanations. He needed them.

Responding to the Hurting

In John 9, Jesus’ disciples ask whether a man’s blindness was the result of his sin or that of his parents. Jesus answers, “Neither.” A religious system and Jewish tradition had not prepared the disciples to understand suffering. A casual church background today is similarly inadequate for truly serving the hurting.

Hiding behind a veneer of religiosity or self-righteousness can poison our communities. Offering dry theology in place of compassion makes us, as Job said, “miserable comforters” (Job 16:2). In Job 18:2, he pleads, “How long will it be ere ye make an end of words? mark, and afterwards we will speak.” In other words, “Show that you understand me. Speak with reason. Then I’ll listen.” Understanding must precede speaking. What we need is the heart of Jesus.

A Few Honest Questions

How many who stigmatize Christian counseling are quietly afraid—but would never admit it?
How many have the margin to cook and deliver a meal?
How many have the patience and grace to be rejected by someone still sorting through difficult emotions?
How many simply want their theology left undisturbed, so they don’t have to wrestle alongside the wounded (Galatians 6:2)?
How many wish their brother’s problems would just go away so that their peace could remain intact?
Do we have the courage to sit in silence, or do we come to sufferers “full of words”? (Job 32:18)

As both Job’s friends and Jesus’ disciples demonstrate, when we only see part of the story, we often default to judgment. The same was true at the cross (Is. 53:4). At the end of Job, God commands Job to intercede for his friends so they do not receive what their folly deserves. Perhaps we, too, ought to reflect on another Innocent Sufferer—misunderstood, misjudged—who became the Intercessor for those who wounded Him, that we might also be restored before God.

As humans, we deeply need both connection and expression. Yet tragically, many feel they must sacrifice one for the other: hiding their needs to be accepted or hiding their identity to remain connected. Friends, we must help end this stigma—so that our brothers and sisters can live in both truth and community.